watermelon business

While we do not typically buy into the "bigger is better" propaganda, the phrase (in my opinion) does and should apply to all surprises: the bigger the better. A surprise before it is ripe is like opening a Christmas gift before Christmas! Unheard of! But since recent local polls show that my opinion is not necessarily popular opinion, I have to ruin the fun for you prematurely:

Remember that big belly Neels verbally assigned to my body several months ago… it was NOT big (in my humble estimation) at that time. But… things certainly have changed. In Dr. Seuss language: my tummy “keeps on biggering and biggering” by the day. The prognosis is that, in a few month’s time, the dimension of said body part will have increased to prize-winning-watermelon size. Deflation likely (with a bit of luck) to occur (ever too slowly) after (sweet-smelling, screaming, huggable, non-sleeping) prize received into arms. Desperation for sleep expected to override any remaining vanity about misshaped, flabby anterior aspect. Watermelon business will at that point be closed until further notice.

Actually… Farmer Murphy informs me that this is further and final notice: watermelon business will be closed forever – no fine print, ifs, ands or buts. Produce section shutting down ad infinitum. Sigh…