Childproof?

Our home has been childproof for 8 years now.  Or so I thought.  You see, being a slow processor, it has taken me these last 96+ months to realize two seemingly obvious realities:

1)      childproof and boy-proof are 2 entirely different concepts

2)      1^st born boy-proof and 5^th born boy-proof are not comparable ideas

It all started when The Fritz decided to enroll himself in The Congaree Boys School.  His application was of course denied, but he keeps showing up nonetheless.  He has been expelled to his bed on several occasions, but some other boy (who is not coming forth) showed him how to escape.  So now we have to manage The Fritz ON our school table way too often.

 On one of his table expeditions, he got hold of this very interesting thing.  No-one noticed until… until he came to show us his sharpened fingers.  HIS WHAT?  Yes, he sharpened both his index fingers.  No cry, no alarm, no considering it a bad idea after sharpening the first!  Just a mere interested expression of “look at this odd red fluid dripping from my most useful exploration digits.”

No (serious) harm done.  He still has all the important aspects of his fingers – merely missing some skin and nails. Judging by the twinkle in his eye and the perpetual bump on his forehead, I fear a boy-proof environment in this house to be an unrealistic pursuit.